at the time I thought I had it all, I realized I had no time to
spend on any of it. Thankfully, I picked up Elaine St. James’
first book, Simplify
Your Life, and found someone who had experienced this
feeling and set out to find a way through. Over six months, I
de-stuffed, and de-scheduled, and de-stuffed some more. This was
no “back to basics” message, encouraging me to grow my own food
and shun a comfortable car. Her message simply stated that we
might want to slow down and enjoy the things that really matter.
All along my journey, Elaine’s words provided me inspiration and
insight into how she focused on what mattered most. Five books,
a syndicated column, and outright guru status in the simplification-revolution
later, I was delighted to have a chance to talk with her about
simplifying, writing books, and generally finding a place in this
world. Here are some excerpts from our conversation.
What do people need to learn in order to change their lives
so that they can get to and do what really matters?
St. James: There
are a number of different approaches. I think that any one of
them could be a trigger for someone to get it, and then go on
and follow their own mode to the result. I also think that we
are all at different points along the path. There are many people
who just picked up one of the books and got it—like you. There
are other people who don’t necessarily get it as quickly, or who
understand the overall picture but can’t quite figure out how
to get their own lives there. I think one of the first things
people need to learn is what it feels like to begin to take the
how can we do that?
St. James: It’s
kind of a step-by-step process—especially in relation to work
and life. I devote the first chapter of Simplify
Your Work Life to cutting back on the amount of time
you work so you have more time for the other areas of your life.
That includes things like cutting back to a forty hour work week,
for some cutting back to a thirty hour week, for others getting
in the habit of leaving their briefcase at the office two or three
nights a week, not working weekends, or eliminating their commute
if possible. Take your vacation. How often do we brag about the
fact we haven’t had a vacation in three years? Or take a sabbatical.
There are numerous sabbatical programs, many of which are even
paid for and sponsored by employers. So, start with beginning
to take the time.
You can also cut
back on some of your social obligations. Cut back on some of the
material stuff in your life that you have to spend time taking
care of so that you can begin to feel what it feels like to have
the time for what really matters.
I was at the point
where I just knew I had to do this. A lot of people are at that
same place. Others may have the desire to do it, but they don’t
believe it’s possible. So, for some people this means taking a
leap of faith and saying, “Okay, I’m going to start cutting back
here and there and just see what it feels like.” Others need to
reach a point where they see that it actually can be done. When
we’re in the midst of these crazy lives it feels like we can’t
slow down, like we can’t stop. It feels like if we stop for even
a minute we’re going to lose out on everything. We won’t be able
to keep up with the information; won’t be able to keep up with
the technology; won’t be able to do what we have to do to keep
Bailyn from MIT recommends experiments, or trial periods of
time where little by little we see it actually can be done.
St. James: When
we begin to slow down we learn that the world won’t come to an
end if we stop. That was a revelation for me. I realized that,
“Hey, the world is still turning, I’m still living, and I can
stop for a bit and everything will still be OK.” We reach this
point where we think we’re holding it all together: our lives,
our families, our social community. But the fact is if we step
back from it or even out of it for a little while, the world is
going to continue on without us and everything will be fine.
like you have to let go of some ego, too.
St. James: Oh,
yeah, big ego letting go. When we’re in the center of it we feel
like we’re it. It takes some humility to be able to step back
and say, “My assistant could do that.” But it’s quite another
challenge to ask, “Does it even need to get done?” There are
certain type A personalities that fall into this, and it’s often
the “Type A” personalities that need to let go of the ego a little
Then I think we
need to learn that we don’t have to know it all either.
There is so much emphasis today on information technology and
we think we have to know it all, we have to be on top of it. I
finally figured out that I could work 24-hours a day and I still
wouldn’t get it all done, and I still wouldn’t know it all. I
realized that even if you don’t know it all, you are still
a valuable person, and you can still contribute to the world.
You can still accomplish tremendous amounts.
“Imagination is more important than information.” I experienced
this first hand after I canceled my magazine and newspaper subscriptions.
I’ve never been much of a TV watcher, but I just kind of unplugged
from everything. I found out that I could take the time at the
end of the day to just sit and daydream, opening myself up to
really thinking rather than constantly reacting. We all fall into
that habit. We react to the things that are going on around us
and feel there is a certain response or a certain expectation
that we have to live up to—usually somebody else’s expectation.
If we let go of that, we can really get the feel of how important
imagination is in our life. It’s not that information is not important,
but imagination is what we do with that information. We have to
learn to take the time to tap into our own intuitive knowing.
you suggesting we get rid of all of our magazines? My office would
St. James: No,
just those you don’t have time to read. We often feel a lot of
guilt about all the magazines that are stacking up that we never
have time to read, and the guilt adds to the stress. But it is
so simple: cancel the magazines you don’t have time for. If you
can’t find the time for it, it’s not that important to you.
So often we depend
on outside sources when we really have a tremendous source of
knowledge and understanding within ourselves. The trouble is that
we’re moving too fast and we’re too exhausted most of the time
to really tap into it.
There are simple
things you can do to tap into that intuition. I write about some
of these in Simplify
Your Work Life. They are things like taking a break, getting
up and walking around the block when you’re tired, taking a nap,
or daydreaming. And of course, making sure you’re getting enough
sleep, eating right, and taking time for that balance in your
life. These kinds of things will contribute to your ability to
hone that inner knowing.
One tool that I
learned to use if I’m dealing with a problem or a challenge is
to write it out in a journal before I go to bed at night, getting
clear on what the crux of the problem is. In writing it, I consciously
direct my subconscious mind to help me find the solution. Then
I go to bed and forget about it. Then first thing in the morning
when I wake up, while I’m still in that kind of semi-sleep state,
I start writing in my journal the first thing that comes to me.
Sometimes I give it a jump-start by saying, “So the solution to
this problem is...” And insights just start pouring out. You can
use this for lots of different kinds of situations in your work
life, your family life, and your relationships.
quite a contrast to searching the Internet for every possible
St. James: Yes,
the internet is a powerful tool, too, obviously. Sometimes we
simply need to strike a balance between acquiring the information
that is available to us through modern technology and the wisdom
that is available to us through our inner technology via our intuition.
Did you use intuition before, or are you able to now access it
because of the change you’ve made in your life?
St. James: I’m
definitely able to access my intuition much more readily since
I slowed down the pace of my life.
In a sense that’s
what happened when I had the epiphany to simplify my life. I had
a real estate investing business, also a seminar business, I had
written a book on real estate investing, I’d just returned from
the book tour, and I had all of these things going on. I came
back and was sitting at my desk, just overwhelmed, looking at
this huge time management system, and it was like a light went
on—I’ve got to simplify my life. I didn’t even know at that point
what it meant. But the feeling was strong enough that I spent
four days at a retreat house and forced myself to just sit there
and think about what was complicating my life, and come up with
ideas about how to make it simple. Part of that the motivation
was desperation. I just knew I didn’t want to go on living the
way I’d been living. It was just too much.
Now that I’ve simplified,
I see that I’ve survived by cutting back and doing less. I’ve
prospered by finding an entirely new career that I love, and I’ve
been able to develop a deep, rich, rewarding, and inner life in
the midst of a chaotic world. From time to time I’m still involved
in that chaos, but I have made sure that what I do is valuable
and worth it to me.
We spend so much
time spinning our wheels. It often feels like we’re getting something
done; we’re at the office, it’s late at night and we’ve got the
computer on, the fax on, the cell phones are ringing and all that,
but are we really accomplishing anything?
are so many things written suggesting busy people should become
minimalists—getting rid of everything, making all their own food,
trading in a comfortable car. But to me that would take even more
work and keep me from doing what matters. There’s nothing wrong
with it if that’s what matters most to you, but simplifying should
be the means, not the goal.
St. James: Exactly.
I talk about that in Living
the Simple Life because that question kept coming up. Simplifying
doesn’t mean you have to go live in the woods. That is not what
it’s about. What made this simplify-your-life concept work—certainly
what made the book successful—is that it was the first time somebody
put these ideas together under the context of “simplifying.” Not
so we could grow our own food necessarily, but so we would have
time for whatever is important to us. Many of us have reached
the point where we have great lives, we just don’t have the time
to enjoy them.
We all want to
simplify for different reasons. Some people want to simplify so
they have time with their kids. That’s why I wrote Simplify
Your Life With Kids. We realize that our kids are growing
up and we never see them. We don’t know what’s really happening
in their lives. We feel guilty about it so we buy them stuff,
but we’re not spending time with them. Simplifying helps people
create that time.
For single people
or for people whose kids are grown and gone, simplifying may have
a different focus. We see life passing by, and we haven’t done
what we wanted to do with our time and with our lives.
same can be said for work. We don’t often know the people we spend
so much time with each day. There needs to be a sense of recouping
that time, finding a place in our hearts to be able to share who
we are, and to have that inner knowing with other people.
St. James: I
think the challenge gets bigger as the technology separates us
even more. We’re plugged into technology all day; we don’t have
the interaction with people we used to have. I think our souls
miss that. We are social animals after all.
as a social animal, what has simplifying done for your life?
St. James: I
think it has given me a much richer, fuller life. I make sure
I take the time now to enjoy my friendships and my relationships.
I have a family of cousins that I grew up with back in the mid-west
that I hadn’t seen in years because my life was too hectic. I
went for years without taking vacations. Since I simplified, I
had the time to establish this wonderful reconnection with my
How did you create that time?
St. James: In
part by simplifying my relationships! Before, I spent a lot of
time with people I didn’t really want to spend time with. Often
out of habit, often out of obligation, often just because it was
easier than to do something to change it. Now I make sure that
the people in my life are people I really want to be with, the
people that really matter to me.
Sometimes we need
to keep blinders on so we don’t get distracted by the cultural
and media messages we’re so bombarded with to keep our lives complicated.
So there has to be a certain amount of discipline about saying
“no” to things that don’t matter to you.
matters changes over time, right?
St. James: Right.
When I simplified my life, I realized I was spending a lot of
time doing things that had mattered to me ten or fifteen years
before. I went for a long period of time not realizing that those
things didn’t matter anymore.
we have to revisit our priorities. And, we have to make choices
about those priorities. We can either choose to live a simple
life or we can choose to live a complicated life, and that’s made
up by lots of tiny choices. We can choose to keep this paper,
or that magazine, or the big house, or this friend, or we can
choose not to. We are in control and we have the ability to make
these choices for ourselves.
St. James: That’s
exactly it. We are in control. We can create our lives exactly
the way we want them. Often there are outside demands, family
pressures, social pressures, community pressures and so simplifying
often means we have to be willing to buck those. We have to realize
that nobody else is going to give us a day off. Nobody is going
to say, “You can leave the office at six o’clock tonight.” Nobody
is going to give us the weekend off. We have to seize that time
shouldn’t seem so crazy that if you’re healthy you can take a
well day off!
St. James: Absolutely—the
point being that we each have to find a system that works for
you for helping us find a system that works for each of us.
St. James: It’s
just been wonderful talking with you. I appreciate your support,
and your thoughtful questions.
Elaine St. James is the author of the national
Your Life, which detailed how she scaled back her own life
in the early '90s. Hailed as the leader of the simplicity movement
by The New York Times, St. James has written five other best-selling
books on simplifying. Learn more about her at http://www.uexpress.com/simplifyyourlife/bio.cfm
Marcia Conner simplified her life in 1995, complicated
her life in 1996, simplified again in 1999, and believes she might
just be in this for the long haul now. Throughout, she’s never
lost sight of what matters: her family, her health, her writing,
and her learning. Write her at email@example.com.
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